I woke up this morning, ready to start a blog. A place and space to put myself shamelessly and honestly into the world. As I was falling into sleep last night, I had loads of things to say and share. And as I sit here this morning, I pulled up a blank page ready to rock it… and this is all I have to start. A narrative about how when the moment comes to really share myself and be vulnerable, words and ideas totally escape me. My brain does that thing, that if you watched T.V. in the 80's, looks a lot like the blank channel, with rainbow stripes and a high pitched hum. But I suppose that even that nothing, leads me to something.
And that something, is my intention for beginning this blog. It began with a long time desire I have held to do something like this. To share my story in the hopes that perhaps it would touch someone, maybe even many someones, who struggle in the same ways I do and could use a little normalization around some of the things we tend to hold inside and hide from others for so many reasons. To not burden others or to appear as though we have our shit together in a world that admires that. Personally, that’s never been my gift.
And so I have been seeking a channel. To take all of the feelings and energy and ideas I have swirling around inside and giving them a place to land outside of me. And this is not my first go at this. I have always been an artist. I have been in denial of that for most of my life, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is what is true for me. It seems to be, that living a creative life is the only way I will survive this thing.
So, here goes nothing.